


Here We Go

by Kestrealbird



Series: Dysfunctional Family [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky is so Done with this, Humor, Infinity War never happened, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Sam is just out here having a good time, aggressively progressive Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestrealbird/pseuds/Kestrealbird
Summary: In which Steve is Aggressively Progressive and Bucky really just wants a nap





	Here We Go

**Author's Note:**

> More of my fluffy bullshit for this AU of mine I guess lmao

In all honesty he probably should’ve expected that this would happen eventually. It’s just, well, they’d had more important things - like HYDRA and the Sokovia Accords and Thanos - to worry about before anything else. He had, perhaps, kind of hoped that it would never come up. Not because he doesn't  _ agree  _ with Steve or anything - he does - but because Steve is...aggressively progressive you could say.

Sam, of course, doesn't really help matters. 

It’s been a few months since Thanos’ defeat; a few weeks since everyone had started covering it on the News after all the shock and grief and everything had been dealt with, and nobody really remembers how the dead were brought back to life but here they are and that’s all that matters, and he’s sitting on a bench in the park with Steve and Sam, listening to them argue over what type of cereal brand is better for breakfast when he spots a Reporter scurrying over to them, her bland clothing and copy-cat face giving no indication of whether she’s famous or not.

Even if she was he doubted he’d know her. He never had been up to date with who was who, even when it was the only gossip that brought good news. 

He nudged Steve in the side with a put-upon sigh and looked up at the heavens blankly when the Reporter stopped in front of them, heaving from exertion.

Sam clicked his tongue.

“Mr.Rogers,” she panted, fixing her hair to look somewhat more professional. 

“Mm?” Steve held up a hand as he finished his bagel and then nodded for her to continue.

“Do you have anything you wish to say now that The Mad Titan is dead?” 

Steve took a very deep, very obvious breath. Sam leaned in closer, barely containing his excited curiosity. Bucky froze in his seat, eyes widening when he realized just what Steve was going to do, the bastard.

“Yeah I do,” he replied pleasantly. “Vaccinate your fucking kids! I mean Jesus Christ do you people realize what year it is!? Bucky tell them how dangerous Polio is!”

“Very dangerous,” he muttered, ignoring Sam’s wheezing laughter.

Steve nodded. “Exactly! And don't even get me started on shit like Swine Flu and good god is Whooping Cough a bitch-!”

“Oh my god,” Bucky whispered, sinking lower into his seat, head cradled in his hands as Steve’s rant continued. On the other side of him Sam continued to wheeze, practically choking on his laughter.

The Reporter had no idea what to do, and simply stood there, nodding her head dumbly at his ranting. Tony was going to have a field day with this.

\----

Tony did, in fact, have a field day with it. No sooner had the Reporter left that Steve got a phone call from him, which consisted largely of Rhodes and Tony laughing on the other end as Pepper made plans to include some of Steve’s quotes on official Avengers Merchandise. Bucky refused to go back to the Tower, instead deciding to hide out in one of his many haunts in Brooklyn, and was relieved that he hadn't when Sam sent him a photo of everyone - even Nick-goddamn-Fury - wearing ‘Vaccinate Your F*cking Kids’ shirts.

As someone who’d grown up dealing with Steve’s bullshit, the emotion he felt right then was best described as ‘disappointed but not surprised.’

He took a shower, sat down on his sofa, turned on the TV, saw Steve shouting “it’s about goddamn time you legalised same-sex marriage!” and, as any sane man was want to do, turned it off, contemplated the pros and cons of slipping back into cryogenic sleep, then laid down on his sofa and stared at the ceiling for a good four hours.

It only got worse from there.

\----

You see, the thing about Steve is that, compared to popular opinion, he had practically zero impulse control and most of his decisions were on-the-fly and completely haphazard to his own health.

This was why, as they walked past a crowd of people protesting Gay Marriage, that Bucky wasn't really surprised when, upon seeing a sign that said ‘Captain America wouldn't support this!’ Steve dragged him over to where they were, face set and determined, then proceeded to make out with him for a full minute just to prove a goddamn point.

The crowd was silenced almost immediately. Bucky flipped them off from behind Steve’s back. “You,” he said, “owe me a date for this.”

Steve simply grinned, far too pleased with himself. In the distance they could hear Sam fake-gagging and hailing a Taxi, but the smile on his face when they turned to look at him was unmistakable.

“Get a room next time!” Sam called after them as he shut the Taxi door. 

“He’ll never let us live this down you know,” Bucky said.

“I know.” Steve interlocked their fingers and started walking down the street again. “Can’t be any worse than the Fridge Incident though.”

Bucky shuddered. “Never again.”


End file.
